Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Even the good days are exhausting

The thing that no one tells you about being a special needs parent is that even on those days when you feel like you're winning, the fight still sucks the life out of you. No one tells you that the depression is still lurking there, and the exhaustion, and that feeling that even now, you're fighting something bigger than yourself, something that never sleeps and will never give up.

I look at photos of myself from two years ago, and I swear I've aged ten years.

6 Comments:

Blogger Mika said...

Rob,

Im with ya! Its a good day today but im tired and feeling low...

I wish I could say something that will make you feel better... Maybe we should both apply for that TV show "10 years younger" and they can help us.. hee hee..

mika
mom to Drew
liver transplant, january 05

7:39 PM  
Blogger Moreena said...

Rob,
Yes, indeed. And you, right now, are due for some serious exhaustion - having fought paperwork and bureaucracy for so many months now trying to get help for Schuyler. I always find that the depression and exhaustion hits me most once things are on the upswing. When we're in the middle of some battle, I just don't allow myself any slack to recognize how tired I might be. But the moment that opportunity arise, down I go.

11:09 PM  
Anonymous Stacy said...

Rob -

How strange...I happened across your blog the other day and then saw your post here & just made the connection. Your little girl is beautiful.

Exhausted - physically, mentally, and most of all, emotionally. I often wonder if things will ever turn around - will I ever feel "normal" again?

Stacy
mom to Tanner
liver transplant, February 2005

6:29 PM  
Blogger trisha said...

Rob, I hear you. I just did a bit about my hyper-vigilance on my blog.

I am always exhausted, mentally and emotionally.

12:20 AM  
Blogger none said...

Same here. I aged. A lot. Tired. Very. Changed for life. Yes.

3:24 PM  
Blogger Sarahlynn said...

Yep. Today I am exhausted. Most parents can say, "In 18 years, all the kids will be off on their own and we can relax, travel, just be ourselves again."

I can't say that with any certainty. I was at a Down syndrome New Parent Support volunteer training program today and some of the moms who have been doing this for a while shared their experiences.

I know they love their children; God knows I love mine. But it's so hard when I'm already exhausted and I see them with 19-year-old or 27-year-old sons and daughters still living at home.

It's selfish, yes. But I want to be able to look ahead to more "me" days in my future, you know?

11:21 PM  

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