Saturday, August 13, 2005

Learning. Again.

There are times, as the mother of a special needs child, that you often walk around in a daze. You watch mothers holding, loving, enjoying their normal lives and their normal children. You watch children getting scolded for mischeif that you only dream your child could get into. You watch other children playing with eachother, and you realize that your child has 1 friend. You.

Its times like that, times of complete despair, that you start to question the meaning of this journey you find yourself on. It is moments like those mentioned above that you realize how much your life is so removed from all normalicy. It is moments like this that make you the person that you have to be for your child. You have no choice, no other option. This is your life.

Alot of times, we as parents focus on the hardships that our childrens disabilities bring to our lives. We focus on the day in, day out hurt and struggle. We forget that we are learning lessons that parents of "normal" children will never learn. That is a gift that we need to grab onto with both hands and treasure deeply.

We know what it is like to stare change (and some of us death) square in the face and take it by the horns. We know what it is like to treasure the doctors appointments that only require vaccines. We know what it is like to sit by our childs beds in the ICU and hold their tiny hands and pray for another day. Beg for it. We know what it is like to hold onto to hope tighter than its ever been held before.

So when you find yourself becoming jealous over what you dont have, look around at what you do have. You have an understanding of love that most parents will never understand. You have a been given the gift of sight. Sight into what life is like on the other side.

And it doesnt have to be full of dispair, its all in how you choose to face it.

The lessons that this journey will teach you are priceless. Face them with strength, determination, and hope.

-Heather




7 Comments:

Blogger Tara Marie said...

Heather,,,that was beautiful! Thank you.

9:48 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Hang in there! Your child is very lucky to have a mother like you. I'm sure it must take a lot of work for you to do all that is needed for your child. Heavenly Father knew you could handle this or he wouldn't have sent you little one to you.
Put yourself in your childs place and think what she is going through. It's probably harder for her. She needs you more than you need her. Just love her and know that this is a special child with a very special mother. You will get heavenly rewards for your love and care of this child.
Do you have a friend who can give you a break every once in a while, even if it is just for a few hours?

7:24 AM  
Anonymous Rebecca said...

That was beautiful, Heather. Thank you for sharing your heart.

8:27 AM  
Blogger Shelly said...

I can so relate...we just spent another week in the hospital. The nurses are his friends...we know them all.

Beautifully written~Thanks!

1:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heather you are a beautiful writer! My son is also special needs and your words rang so true! Thank you!!

7:51 AM  
Blogger kara said...

Heather-

Thank you for the reminder of how blessed mom's of children w/special needs truly are. When you are living it every day, it is easy to overlook the blessings. You have helped me to remember to look for them every day.

Thank you-

Kara

10:22 PM  
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